the human centipede Whatever happens, nobody, but nobody, believes that The Human Centipede II will be effectively suppressed. It has been certificated in Australia, and highly likely to pass in the US, so those who want it will do what everyone did when A Clockwork Orange was banned in this country: order an "import" Region 1 DVD online. Even those who think the BBFC ban will give the film the oxygen of publicity don't think it will be that much publicity, because no one cares that much. The conservative papers who once campaigned against filth nowadays save their fire for winnable battles against potty-mouthed Beeb presenters. Like everyone else, they are uneasily aware that for decades now, sensationally controversial films and books have evaded bans, and civilisation as we know it remains eerily in place. Censorship is not taken seriously.
The last time I saw it being discussed with any solemnity was by Sacha Baron-Cohen's creation Ali G, interviewing the BBFC's former chief, the now late James Ferman, and frowning with dismay at the amount of pornography he has to watch in one sitting: "But . . . no-one can keep it hard for that long."The tone for the Human Centipede discussion was set by the exuberant debate on Twitter this week, which speculated about what Human Centipede III and Human Centipede IV would look like, and what the title might be for a full-scale Hollywood remake. Blogger Dan Brusca brilliantly suggested: "Human Centipede: The Fellowship Of The Ring".
Absurdity is the inevitable by-product of trimming and cutting and banning. When The King's Speech had its swearwords censored for its American release, the film's British fans were variously amused and appalled by the philistinism and bone-headedness of this approach. And yet there will always be someone who thinks that any cut is bone-headed, and there will also be those who think that looking absurd is the price to be paid for maintaining values. Looking absurd is, for censors, perhaps, a 21st century "white-man's burden", an obligation not to mind being ridiculed by liberals.When I heard about The Human Centipede II, in all its rep
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